Best News Ever

I have some great news to share with everyone… After meeting with my Doctor on Wednesday and receiving the results of Monday’s MRI we heard the best news we have heard since this nightmare started. My tumor is gone!!! You read it correct… the tumor is gone. The Chemo, radiation, and Avastin are all working. They doctors were so surprised that the radiologist was sure that I had had a second surgery. I still have a fight a head of me and will be on chemo for a long time… we can’t forget that the tumor I had is one of the most aggressive around so as much as this is a time to celebrate we still have to keep in mind that the fight is not over… but I have no tumor and that is amazing at this stage of the fight.

So all your prayer and thoughts worked… you all were there when I need you and I know will still be there for me… I love you all and can’t wait for the brain cancer walk this weekend.

Times Can Get Hard but They Get better

The other day I was feeling sorry for myself and was in a bad place… having cancer is hard but after spending the day with Cole on Tuesday I am feeling much better. No matter what medications my doctors put me on the best medication in the world is just daddy time… one on one time with Cole. While spending time with Cole I realized what happened to me to put me in that bad place… as I told you Kim and I had a date night to celebrate our nine year anniversary, I think what happened is I got to appreciate what I had and got afraid to lose it. I am going to say it again as much as having cancer sucks I am very lucky. I am going to fight this fight with every fiber of my being… not to mention every fiber of your being too. You have all been with me by my side since this battle started weather you are next to me in person, in spirit, faith and mind you have been there and I feel it and that is going help me kick cancer’s ass.

I also refound my love for music… there is so much you can find in music to inspire you as long as you look, even when you don’t look or listen it is there.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Times Can Get Hard

You know I am feeling great and everything health wise is going great. There are just times like today that are hard… hard emotionally. When I think about… really think about what having cancer means it reopens my eyes to what family truly is and I appreciate them even more… I don’t want to die. I want to watch Cole grow up and have children himself. I don’t want to miss what most people in life take for granted. I think I have put the true meaning of cancer so far in the back of my mind that I’m almost living in denial. I do still have my positive attitude… I don’t want anyone to think different… it is just hard to wakeup everyday knowing that you have cancer... I am finding out that there is a fine line between denial and a positive attitude… I just need to find out where that line is.

Kim and I will be celebrating our 9 year anniversary in ten days… this past weekend we had an early celebration. We went out for dinner and my in-laws watched Cole over night so Kim and I were able to spend some quality time together. This was great and uplift to my spirits… it is just hard waking up every day with cancer not knowing what to expect.